psychology

The fear behind mental illness reflects the nature of fear itself: We fear what we don’t know. We can never truly know what is happening inside the mind of another person. We as people follow fixed rules most of the time. Drive through an intersection when the light is green. Wear some amount of clothing outdoors. Don’t cross the double yellow line. So many rules. When rules are broken, it is jarring to us as bystanders. Perhaps that rule breaker is innovative. Perhaps that rule breaker is a genius. Or perhaps that rule breaker is sick. The more bizarre the

Positive Psychology, Lindsay Doran, and Story

Many months ago I attended a lecture by Lindsay Doran on Psychology as an approach to understanding story. It was hosted by the Blacklist. For anyone interested, her Ted Talk covers much of the same material. Ms. Doran is a studio executive that has helped in the development of a number of films, including recently The Lego Movie. She also has a fondness for Positive Psychology. For those not familiar, the wiki page is actually pretty good on the subject. In short, it’s an approach to human psychology that focuses on the positive side of functioning, such as how to

Your Partnership is a Fantasy

Yes, I’m being dramatic and the title probably borders on clickbait. And yet it’s true. When I refer to partnership, I mean the idea that two people join equally at all times, make decisions equally in all things, and that no one ever dominates. It’s a beautiful utopian idea, post-modern gender roles, where neither “partner” does more than the other. It just doesn’t exist in reality. For the purposes of illustration, I write about roles here in a heterosexual male/female relationship, though this is all easily applicable to same-sex couples. Perhaps there are moments when two people are in absolute

Resetting the Bar

I’m not a fan of competition. It brings out the worst in people, while trying to bring out the best. So of course I have difficulty understanding athletes using steroids or doping just to win a contest. These drugs have possible health consequences after all. For the athlete, I’m sure they believe it’s about achievement and maximized potential, but it’s driven by trying to be better than the other guy. The bar is set by another person. With that drive they are willing to do “whatever it takes.” Train more. Work harder. We as spectators encourage it and set up

On Balance in Relationships.

This isn’t just about balance. Or how to stay connected. Though it serves all of that. I touched on this just a little bit in my post about burnout, but I want to get into Balance in Relationships. We’re asked to care. We’re asked to do something. We’re asked to invest time and energy. This is usually about a person. Sometimes it could be a project. John was a military vet. He didn’t have to be. He could have been my childhood friend, or a guy I made friends with in a coffee shop. In this case I met him

How to Not Burn Out

“I just can’t do it anymore.” People burnout everywhere, in every field. They burn out professionally. They burn out in taking care of others. I live in Los Angeles and I can understand how just driving a car can burn someone out in this level of traffic. No one plans to burn out. Maybe they do have a little awareness that they’re going down that road, though. We have a level of control over where we place our attention, as well as our effort. If you’re worried you’re burning out, consider preventing it. There’s two parts, I believe, to preventing

In Brief for Those New to Therapy

If you ask ten different therapists what it is they do, you’ll get twenty answers. A therapist talks. A therapist listens. Using the term “therapy” implies only one thing, so for those who don’t know what therapy is, it’s hard to get a grasp on it. It’s even harder to understand that there’s many types of therapy. So let me begin with a comparison to religion. Religion is similar to therapy, in that they both have belief systems. Therapy is usually based more on research and evidence, though, rather than faith. Trying to pretend that there is one “religion” doesn’t

Psychotic vs. Psychopathic

They aren’t the same. Going back to at least Hitchcock (one of my faves), who brought the muddy term “psycho” into the public psyche, conflated the definitions as if all are violent, and all “crazy” is crazy. I’m sure there are briefer answers out there for those wondering what’s the difference between psychotic and psychopathic. And even though SRSLY made it into the OED because of its widespread use, lay inaccurate uses of the term psychotic will likely not. Briefly in discussing how we got here, the words are interchanged because they sound alike, and are used commonly to describe

Portraying Mental Illness in Story

Mental illness as a term gets thrown around a lot. It’s used by politicians as a scapegoat for problems or a target for funding. It’s sought by individuals to find meaning to their experience, or sometimes a justification for their difficulties. It’s a thing, talked about like any other disease. And yet the term is a lumping of many conditions under a single term, as if all mental illnesses are the same. They are not, but we talk about them that way and “let the experts sort it out.” I get that. At the same time it maintains the mystique

10 Life Lessons from a Psychiatrist

I run into the same issues everywhere, from patients, co-workers, and friends. People are stuck, and not sure how to “un-stuck” themselves. I’ve noticed some basic rules on how to live a more fulfilled life, to make life easier, and make you more effective. Consider them like guideposts if you feel off track. Some may be obvious. Others, maybe not so much. It’s not about knowing them. It’s about where you put your attention and effort. 1. Be Polite I’m not suggesting to be fake or disingenuous. Instead find the way to being kind to others. And if kindness can’t be

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Paul R. Puri, MD